Parallel Universe

I feel like I have lived in a parallel universe since July. Reading a few blogs and realizing life didn't stop around me I was just on the other side of it.

"There is nothing lost, but may be found, if sought."

Ms. Austen's quote as drifted to mind several times in the last few months. I've mulled the meaning and application to my life right now and have found some bit of peace within.

What was will never be again, but I suppose you could say that of the minute before I wrote this sentence. What is it about standing in the stream and never standing in the same water again -- O I always get that one mixed up!

Slowly I'm making peace with uncertainty. What can be taken away is not what gives me happiness. Try eating that burro whole. I know it -- I can't internalize it, but I'm closer to feeling the surrender and the dark night of hope without hope.

My mind was in a very primeval state of surviving. It feels very awkward to try and write again. I feels strange to try and dig out a feeling and give it words. --- I am also finding typing my thoughts out very strange as words are not coming -- not the ones to describe where I've been and how I got back here - to human land. In the other world it was dark and centric with bit' of light from outwhere beaming in, lending sustenance to the days and weeks every so often from a friend or a piece of the divine.

Returning to human land the TV is still droning on about the same things and it strikes me as curious. I can hear people speak and they don't sound like I'm underwater anymore, I also find that curious -- not that people make words but the words have displaced a meaning;fear. mmmm -- sounds like I'm talking rubbish I suppose -- I'm probably the only one that understands my new language... it also could mean I've lost it entirely!

The light still shines.

"What is not conscious will be lived as Fate." --Jung

"...what is there to fear when we have stayed with ourselves through thick and thin?" -- Pema Chodron