I've written about this before. We bought 5 acres in 1992, we built a home and fences and bridges through blood sweat, and tears. We raised two boys here -- I am facing that "For Sale" sign. We are running out of options. This pressure on my chest is daily... I write, I post, I make phone calls, I answer phone calls, I talk to my mom and sis, but we aren't close enough -- normal -- when normal isn't normal. When everything that has represented safety, when everything is not just unknown, it is a black hole. My brain keeps spitting out platitudes; count your blessings, things will get better, you never know what's on the other side -- living it...living it....not working right now. Faking it till you make it...somedays, and this is one, I just can't pretend for today.
Society of Persons
9 hours ago
Posts
11 comments:
Cynthia,
My day is slammed with busy-ness, but saw your comment on my blog, and came over to yours and read this, and just had to pause and comment...
Want you to know something... Last night I read something that (long story) caused me to question even continuing my blog...(as I have questioned such in the past...). I was actually at the point of having all the posts checked for deletion..., but, for some reason, just could not push the button and do it...
This morning, as you have so graciously shared, you have found something meaningful to you on my wee little site, and even offered a link... And, I cannot tell you how moved I am... This means so much to me... And, THANK YOU, there won't be any deleting going on anytime soon. :)
We too are SO struggling right now, so believe me when I tell you that I am "with you" in this time. I am. You and your family are in my prayers. I mean it.
BIG blessings where you need them the most.
Bill
Cynthia,
I am so sorry to hear this. I just recommend this free meditation site to someone else and it seems its a good it for you as well. Ariel's poscast meditations have helped me many times...and I am not one who meditates easily. He has one to fit almost every situation. I hope one helps you:
http://www.thedcw.org/Ariel/Meditation%20Podcast/Meditation%20Podcast.html
Dear Bill - lordie, I cam back here to delete this post. Thought maybe it was a cowardly thing to do, but who wants to hear whining... though it isn't in a way.
EVERYONE is struggling, some through no fault of their own. We're contractors, We had a contingency plan, we have barely worked for a year and half. How many others have the same problem, especially in the SW? I've read of Jane, who has already had to move and did it with such bravery.
It seems I felt better after writing, after reading, and have decided I haven't been exercising, I haven't been writing morning pages, and I haven't been reading my Course in Miracles text -- three of my four legs of support, the other being my husband who is fighting the same emotions.
Maybe this needs to be talked about. I don't know... We all seem to be holding on for dear life and the hopeful out look is turning grimmer to my mind,
there's a song with the words 'every new beginning comes from another's beginning's end" --- thank you -- my prayers are with you also.
Hibiscus -- you are so thoughtful. I will check it out -- and maybe it will give others some support -- I too don't meditate easily -- pulling weeds works lol but it's 109 out there. :)
love always
It's not cowardly to be real - tell it like it is. One of the things I say alot is 'you don't know what you don't know' and that's certainly true in blog world. Bless your heart.
Keeping you in my thoughts. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also (whatever that may be.) {hey, it is wishcasting wednesday, and I don't think you have to follow the prompt if you got a bigger wish to fry...}
Heey Cynthia,
Stumbled on this by chance (through Hedgewich Inn). I'm thinking...(oh oh)...lots of times there ARE options...despite all the cruelty and stupidity that is part of the world, sometimes there is a way out of seemingly desperate situations.
(I truly have witnessed some miracles)
Can you lay out the math on this? How much is required per month? What dead-line?
hey beautiful lady,
i'm so sorry. i pray that you will have the strength, courage and balance to walk out every moment of your life no matter how difficult.
please take care of you. keep your stabilizers in place so you can walk this out as it unfolds to the utmost of your ability.
you are full of light and truth. tune to the source of knowledge, peace and love and operate from that place and that place alone.
and never forget, you are very, very loved.
love you, beautiful...
Whew! Breathe indeed!!
I was at my women's spirituality book group tonight, we're talking about Prem Chodron's 'When Things fall apart' - looking to find the 'middle ground' in whatever's happening - as others said, there are so many struggles/folks struggling!! & how to find that middle?? One gal just had back surgery - & it hasn't helped (& they couldn't do what they thought they could) AND she has a bi-polar boss & way heavy work load AND a husband who's an artist - so she's got the 'good' job, . . . etc!
We do need to talk, to hear the 'real stuff/struggles' - & to support each other as we can, thru our words, our love, our actions.
As Kavinda says, as Hibiscus wishes for herself, so I wish - & in 'whatever happens' may you find love, peace, joy . . .
This is a lot to deal with Cynthia.
Transfer the energy of your fears
into positive visualization,
never entertain the worst case
scenario.
Breathe - Release - Summon Peace.
Hugs,
Cynthia
Oh, bless you Cynthia for saying that about my poem. I am so pleased if it made an impact on a day when you so needed it. My heart is with you and your new journey. I can imagine how you are feeling. It is never easy leaving a home, finding a new one and all those things and details that go with that. And, I can see that is only a fraction of the changes taking place in your life.
I wish you only the best & positive (rainbow coloured) vibes!
~Calli
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